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~ Dealing with change doesn't mean starting over; it's about how you transition from wherever you are right now to the next place.

Solowingnow

Monthly Archives: September 2016

The paper chase

29 Thursday Sep 2016

Posted by Pat in Gratitude, Reading, Traditions

≈ 3 Comments

I miss the days of twice-weekly newspapers and once-a-day mail, of photo albums and paperback books.  I’m one of those people who likes to touch and reminisce and ponder and … well, you get the idea. Lately, one of my struggles has been trying to keep track of appointments and notes and receipts and itineraries.  I think I’m on about my 4th or 5th planner system this year. I keep trying to adjust to my Kindle and Microsoft Outlook and Evernote and Contacts.  But when my phone was hijacked a few months ago, I lost my patience.  Call me eccentric or what-have-you, but I have a “thing” for my paper. Paper has a way of slowing me down, thankfully. I don’t need the speed of light or sound or transactions zipping by me willy-nilly.20160630_133826

I like to have pictures up on the walls of my house, not my Facebook wall – pictures that are of my kids or grandkids, or which represent places and evoke memories of good times.  I like to cuddle with a blankie and a book (a real one, not an imaginary one on a screen) and a pillow. I like to flip through my address book and decide who to call today (and remember each place that person lived before this address). I like to look at the bulletin board and immediately see what time I leave for Sioux Falls next week (instead of clicking and searching). And I don’t care that my desk seems disorganized – I know where things are – because I wrote it on pink paper, or it was a small yellow post-it, or it was in the pile by the binders.

I was looking for someone’s phone number the other day. The problem was that it had been kept in my Contacts on the phone that was stolen from my car.  I had only had my new phone for about a month, so hadn’t transferred all the data yet.  Not only did I not have the phone number, I didn’t have the email address either.  I had to call someone else to get the info.

And then there was the email I read on my phone but which got lost in the ether and didn’t sync on my desktop computer, so I forgot to respond to someone who was waiting to confirm an appointment with me.  The grocery store app didn’t work inside the store, so it was useless to me. And it turns out my bank debit card doesn’t tell me my balance like my check register does, so I can spend-spend-spend until it’s too late!

I went to a new grocery store in town – Aldi. It cost $.25 to unlock the chain so I could use a grocery cart! If you didn’t have your own bags (which I did), you have buy them. The clerk is timed on how quickly she can get me through the lane, so I couldn’t bag my own groceries while she scanned; I had to wait until she was done. Then I bagged my own food. It was not a great shopping experience.

And then I had to take the recycling and trash out. For the paper person that I am, I was suddenly aware of how little paper I actually threw away, although I tend to print out what seems like a small tree’s worth of correspondence or research on my computer every week.  Things change fast enough, and I have no control over much of that.  But keeping my lifestyle simple and working for me seems like a small price to pay.  It helps me slow down and stop being in “instant” mode so much.  It could be my age, I guess, but I think it has to with my willingness to consciously remember and appreciate small, simple things.

I have an iPad on my nightstand, a small tablet computer on the kitchen counter, a Wii hooked up to the television, a smart phone, and television used as a monitor for my laptop in the office.  I am not a Luddite and not without adequate technology for when I want or need it.  But there is an itch that can’t be scratched with a swipe or a back arrow.  It’s like chasing a paper tiger. I realize that technology has given us many advantages and time savers – but they are negated when I have to do double-entry or make a second trip or get ambivalent about someone’s story I am seeing but not really reading. 

I’m again fixing my own meals instead of eating out so much, having coffee on the deck in the morning instead of at my desk, reading on the couch with the dogs on either side of me instead of watching television. And I’m sleeping better at night and not feeling rushed in the daytime.  Given my circumstances, I’m living the good life right now.

 

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Paying a Debt

21 Wednesday Sep 2016

Posted by Pat in Gratitude, Uncategorized

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I’m so lucky! Today I had the opportunity to pay a debt I have owed to the ones who have held me, lifted me up, supported me, and reminded me that I am enough just as I am.  I have a friend who is feeling irrelevant because she has been ill lately, and so she says she is not contributing to the world like she used to. I remember someone telling me once that it was okay to take a sick day or three, because I always went above and beyond, and that just maybe it was time to let work carry me for a bit.  That little bit of permission and perspective was all I needed to spend some time putting myself back at the top of my priority list. And yes, all sorts of things got better after that.

There were other times, too. During the “Flizzard” in Fargo-Moorhead in the winter of 1996-1997, my house flooded.  A friend told me that just maybe this was God’s way of letting me know that receiving help is as important as giving it. It had nothing to do with asking for help; it was about letting others show me how much they cared by whatever act of kindness they offered me. Amen.

I hope my friend who is feeling irrelevant finds her way back to making meaning, not just making a life. tiredShe has taken on a lot lately, and I know others are depending on her.  She’s the kind of woman who will keep on keeping on as long as she can, but I plan to help her see the light another way, by reminding her that she is enough all by herself.  It may not exactly fit her situation, but when she said she felt irrelevant, this quote came to mind.

It makes me happy to able to help…even if she doesn’t see it that way right now. She chose me to confide in, and that is all the entre I need to make her my mission right now.

 

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September is the new January

13 Tuesday Sep 2016

Posted by Pat in Dreaming, Gratitude, Sabbatical

≈ 2 Comments

I read on Facebook or Pinterest recently that “September is the new January.” It was in connection with a back to school promotion maybe, or planning or a fall house cleaning concept or something.  For me, it resonated because Fall has always been my favorite time of year, and while many are reaping and harvesting, for me it has always been a time of planning and planting.  There is the mounting excitement for the upcoming holidays, and the subtle end-of-year pressure to finish what I have started, or start what I have yet to get done.

A couple of the bigger things I have not gotten to in the preceding 8 months of this year include going through Kevin’s hunting or fishing gear and finding new homes for it; power-washing the garage floor; and getting a fence up in the back yard. Some of the smaller things include …. well, actually, there aren’t any smaller things left undone. I have done most of what I set out to do, and a few more.  Like developing some friendships here in the neighborhood and in town in general, getting more involved in Toastmasters, camping, and visiting my extended family. What I hadn’t planned on was starting my business, which had consumed most of the past four months.  This is my sabbatical year, and I am happy to say I have also reset my internal clock, lost a few pounds, read dozens of books, walked miles and miles, and let go of my old dreams to make way for new ones. All things being equal (which I know they are not), I’d have to declare the year a success, even though it’s not over yet.

The turning leaves remind me of how I am also turning around. My own color has gone from bluesy nostalgia to sunshine yellow and blushing pink. The crisper air is in balance with my own fresh perspective these days.  The early arrival of pumpkin-everything is in sync with how I am also accelerating my work plans.  The general anticipation in the air is contagious, as I prepare for yet another meeting with potential clients.

I will still write down my 2017 goals around the time of the New Year. But for now, I’m happy that I still have the autumn to enjoy.  It’s comforting to know that the best is yet to come. My life cycle for my new year is starting again.

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Summer days

01 Thursday Sep 2016

Posted by Pat in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

It’s hard to believe summer is almost gone – at least on the calendar. It’s plenty warm and humid where I am in Virginia. Trees are still showing off green leaves and flowers are in bloom, but grass is stressing out from the heat and getting a bit brown. I’m not a huge fan of paying for watering, and besides, my sprinkler system doesn’t work well in places.  So I enjoy the view from my air conditioned house – because I don’t mind paying for that comfort!

A typical summer used to include plenty of motorcycle and camping trips when I had a hubby to do things with. We managed to get in a few trips to Water Country and Busch Gardens also.  This year I haven’t had my motorcycle out at all except in March to get the required inspection sticker updated. I had the camper out once also. Haven’t been to WC or BG at all. It’s just been too darn hot. I’m hopeful that the fall will bring temperature relief and I can still get out some.

It’s not that I don’t get out at all, though. I went to California in April, have been to Minnesota twice already (graduation and funeral), to Pittsburgh (conference), and Washington DC (work twice plus another convention), and Florida (work).  But that’s not quite the same as “summer recess” and the freedom of the open road.

It’s easy to find excuses for staying indoors, like the heat and humidity outdoors.  Or being tired because the heat and humidity wears me out. Thankfully, I can borrow Christine’s 9-year old daughter Malori when I want to go swimming, and when my niece Amanda visited I got to the Williamsburg Winery and drove around sightseeing a little.

I worry that I am wasting my precious time, and yet I know that whatever I am doing, even it’s taking naps or letting my mind wander, it is important for me to be doing that in that moment. I need to remember that restoring my energy is a long process, just like depleting it took decades of hustling to work and raising kids and going to school.  I also need to remember that Kevin gave me this gift of a year for R&R and to figure out The Next Big Thing.  I don’t need to rush it, even if I have a path I’m already working on. Just being Me is a tall order!

So I’m not going to fret over the summer days getting shorter. I am going to look forward to the cooler days of the fall, knowing that I can still ride or camp or nap then if I want to. And now I’m going to go put my feet up for a while.

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pat@solowingnow.com

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Whenever I'm awake, but not usually before 9 am or after 9 pm

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