Category Archives: Budgeting

Taking care of myself

26 Thursday May 2016

Posted by in Budgeting, Gratitude, Transformation

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For quite a while, at least since I left my job last fall for this sabbatical time, I have deprived myself of some relatively small joys.  I am not sure if it’s the money angle, or the feeling that I don’t deserve nice, new things if I’m not working.  I never used to think that my identity was tied up in my day job, but I have to give that more thought now.

I have had some cushions on the chairs on the deck for a few years. They are faded, mismatched, and getting ragged. They sure didn’t inspire me to spend much time outside.  In fact, I had thrown some on the floor so the dogs could use them as beds, and I only kept 2 chairs out. Plus a cute wire bench that was a little out of place.

Anyway, Tuesday I was over at my friend Karine’s house. She has a shady yard like me, and as we walked around, I noticed that she had oodles of plants randomly growing here and there, some of them in need of thinning. She just bought the house last December, so she hasn’t had time to work on the yard, or to even get through a season so she’d know what might pop up. I mentioned to her that I liked her hostas and was planning to get some for my yard. Hers were a different variety than the few I have. She offered for me to dig up some of hers, which I politely declined.  I wanted them, but I felt like she might have interpreted my comment as a somewhat veiled beggar’s request. She practically insisted I take some, and I was glad to finally accept her offer. Thanks, Karine, for your generosity. It’s hard to remember that sometimes you need to accept in order to gift someone with the joy of giving.

An hour later, I had cleared the area by my deck of the leaves I had not raked last fall and successfully transplanted about 7 sets of small hostas.  I even had a bag of mulch in my garage from when Kevin had been doing yard work 2 years ago. A bag I had moved and pushed and rearranged several times in the process of organizing my garage.

The new little plantings spurred me to do something about those cushions so I could enjoy my evening outdoors. I went to Home Depot and Lowes, but each of them wanted $35 for one set, and the colors this season seem to be too muted for my taste. I ended up at WalMart, where I got them for $14 each. And a rug on sale for $44.  For just a hair over $100 and some sweat, I had a refreshed look. That evening I sat outside and watched the stars make an appearance last night, and enjoying the twinkle lights I had put up last year, and in the morning I couldn’t wait to get out there and have my coffee before it got too hot.

It’s true what they say – it’s the little things that count. I’m proud of the “I did it myself” feeling I got from the transplants. And I think to have a First Class Lifestyle, as Karine is all about, I need to give myself the things that make me feel good about myself – proud of my efforts, of my good buy, and of taking care of myself. Instead of sitting out there by myself, maybe I’ll even invite some friends over to enjoy my new old deck with me.

 

Back to work?

11 Monday Apr 2016

Posted by in Budgeting, Sabbatical, Transformation

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I imagined this sabbatical to last about a year, although I didn’t really have a plan beyond restoring my energy, focus, and emotional balance.  I made a budget, got some books from the library, watched a LOT of tv (mostly Hallmark movies) and played on my computer.  I took walks when the weather was nice.  I slept a LOT. Basically, I vegged out.  And it was good. But …

Yes, there’s always a “but,” isn’t there?  But it turns out I get bored easily.  And I like to spend money.  So I paid for a year-long, once-a-month online course supplemented by occasional live get-togethers and meetings.  In my defense, it is an investment in my new future.  I decided to start my own speaking and consulting business, and I hired a consultant to help me get it off to a good start.  So far, so good!  I’m getting excited about it.  I like starting things, and I’m very good at it.  I am great at organization and planning.  This is my wheelhouse.  But is it my dream? Today, I’m not 100% sure; I hope it’s the antihistamines making me groggy  (see below).

Then there is the travel trailer I bought, and which I have yet to take out of storage and go camping in.  That’s not all bad, though, since it has not been de-winterized, and we had a low of 27 the other night. I’m waiting for better weather, which means warmer days and less thunderstorms and wind.  We’ve had a lot of that. In fact, I’ve had a couple of large branches come down in my back yard, and they are still there. I haven’t had the oompah to get out there and clean it up.But I bought the camper to go places while on this sabbatical, and I haven’t yet gone anywhere in it.

Adding to the slight feeling of uncertainty  is the high pollen count lately and its impact on my allergies. I’m on my second box of Sudafed.  Nose is getting sore, eyes are itchy and twitchy, and my throat is getting froggy. I just want to keep my head on the pillow.  But now I’ve got appointments set up to talk about this new business, and things to do to prepare for the appointments, like work on a business plan, and fill out licensing paperwork, and think up a name and logo and company colors and website design. I find myself procrastinating some. So I’m enlisting help from a focus group made up of friends to give me advice and act as a sounding board.

On the really good side, I do enjoy teaching – or workshopping – more than “speaking.”  I have just agreed to teach 3 classes for my former employer, the National Center for State Courts, in Washington DC next month.  That will ease my transition pressure and get me back in the swing of things. And it buys me time to get the details of a business worked out, since I don’t have that all in place quite yet.

All of this is the long, roundabout way of saying I guess I’m going back to work several months early. But this time, finally, I’m going to be smarter about it.  Having had the freedom of time due to the sabbatical, I know how much I need to have my own kind of schedule, with breaks for creative time in between bursts of “work.”  I know from the budget and a few months of reality the minimum amount of money I need to meet the bills and the financial security I want. Either way it’s scary to not have a safety net of someone else to bring in income, or help with household chores when I’m gone, and support me when I’m afraid or just tired.  Oh, and figuring out if I like myself as a boss!

I plan to keep up this blog, because it is about me and how I’m changing now that I’m flying solo. I know I’m slightly different in subtle ways that maybe only I realize. And I know I have more to think about in that regard.  The temp work will be a way to ease back into the routine and see how I respond. The life examined, and all that.   I’m still working on a book, and maybe I’ll even find a way to make Solowingnow my primary focus.  For now, it will be interesting to watch myself as I both return to the familiar and dip my toes in the new water at the same time. Wish me well!

 

Winning the Lottery

13 Wednesday Jan 2016

Posted by in Budgeting, Dreaming, Sabbatical, Transformation

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My late husband’s financial plan always relied on winning the lottery, and he faithfully bought a ticket when the numbers got high enough.  If he ever won more, I never knew about it! I very rarely bought a ticket, but now that the possible payout is over $1 Billion (yes, billion with a “b”), I bought 4 tickets the other day. I only had $8 on me after I bought gas, so 4 was it.  Besides, you only need 1 to win, right?

Last night I sat down and decided to come up my list of how I’m going to spend my winnings when I get the money in hand.  I had barely finished when my brother called, and we talked about how we would spend the money if either of us won.  No surprise, we had vastly different plans. After the taxes were paid, and I gave 10% to charity (I do remember he said he wouldn’t do this – he’d prefer to give it directly to people rather than to let someone else decide who it goes to), I struggled to figure out what to do with all the remainder.  I could only come up with another $6 million or so in expenditures.  I would set up education trust funds for each of my grandchildren, pay off my kids’ student loans (and otherwise equalize this distribution since at least one no longer has student loans), and then I would buy a hobby farm and open a pet rescue (probably for beagles) operation. After that, I would make sure each of my kids had a nice-enough house (no mini-mansions necessary) and reliable vehicles. And then I’d take my kids, grandkids, siblings, in-laws and outlaws, nieces and nephews (and their kids), on an around-the-world trip, which is the best education of all.  And a girlfriend trip is in the mix, too. In a nutshell, this reflects my pre-lottery priorities: education, humanity,  and travel.  (It’s good know the money won’t change me that much.)

My sister Theresa has a grand idea. She said the first thing she would do if she wins (note: she said “if” she wins, and I think in terms of “when” I win) isto take a long vacation and then call her kids to tell them where she is!  I think that’s what I will do also; maybe I’ll invite her to come along…sounds like she could use a break.

But then I remembered another conversation I had yesterday with a girlfriend who  lamented that she “didn’t have a Kevin,” and I knew what she meant.  I had already won the lottery back in the summer of 2001 when I met Kevin.  He was exactly the right guy for me, at the right time.  My idea of marriage was a partnership between friends who fell in love, who worked every day at being in relationship, practicing  acceptance and  honesty, sharing and giving, and caring.  He treated me so very, very well, with geArkansas Apr 2012nerosity and laughter and openness.  What more could a girl ask for?  The fact that he’s passed away now doesn’t mean I’m at a dead end (NO pun intended).  Because of the great experience I had of loving him and being loved by him, I am a better person, with happy memories and improved interpersonal skills that enhance all my relationships – whether with my children and grandkids or Toastmaster friends or co-workers or neighbors or new people I have yet to meet or anyone else I come into contact with.  I lived that love for 13 years, and it will continue to pay residual dividends for the rest of my life.  That’s winning!!

I read somewhere recently that if you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need. I can relate to that, and I do have those.  It would be nice to have my Kevin to share those with me, but as that other saying goes, better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all.  It’s comforting to know that I don’t need a Billion dollars to make me happy.  I can’t even spend in my mind.  I told my brother that $100,000 would give me financial serenity, given my sabbatical and limited funds right now.  But I’m doing good anyway, so if the winning ticket isn’t hanging on my refrigerator, I won’t miss the money much.  I’ve already won more than many people.

 

My Own Deflategate

07 Monday Dec 2015

Posted by in Budgeting, Grief

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Yesterday and today have been full of So No Fun detail work. Having brought home all my STUFF from the work office, I had to make room for it. I still have two boxes of papers and files to do something with, but the office is primarily done.  It’s a good thing I decided to tackle it now, because one of the files I came across was my “exit interview” file from work, which contained all the info about COBRA rights for continuing health insurance and converting my life insurance to individual policies.

Memories from the last 20 years overwhelm

So, first, cleaning the home office closet. I had previously stashed boxes I hadn’t taken time to cull through when we moved in almost two years ago. Out came boxes of pictures and the trivial collection of things from my office in South Dakota.  Memories jumped out as soon as I opened the first box.  Eventually I made headway, and some boxes were transported upstairs to the Diva Den, a/k/a my craft room and the place for all the other stuff I don’t know what to do with. More boxes and tubs had to be gone through to make room for the “new” boxes.  But these were the more personal things – old love letters, family and school pictures, cards from flowers delivered by a florist, even my old high school ring and Girl Scout sash – complete with badges and pins.  For some reason, the flood gates opened, and three hours later I was on the phone to my sister Peggy to get help in stopping the tears. I was overwhelmed with the crap (that’s a Kevin word for anything of mine he would not have saved) to be sorted. And I was deflated with the idea of starting over again in my life. It felt like the last 20 years have just – poof! – meant nothing.  I’m right back where I was in 1991 after my divorce, trying to figure out my future. Thankfully, Peggy was successful in helping me calm down, and she even convinced me to not just torch everything or toss it. This morning I felt better (even though I did throw out three bags of papers and old letters).

Obamacare turns out okay for me

Now, today. I got out the COBRA paperwork and tried to read it. Then I went on to the Health Care Exchange thing site. Still confused, I called a neighbor, Dee, who has worked in the individual policy-insurance field for a long time. Eventually, I got on the phone with the people at the Health Care place (after a 39 minute hold, if you can believe that). Another 30 minutes after that I was signed up for health insurance through the Obama plan, at a sweet discount since I’m not earning any income,  especially when compared to COBRA rates.  But I still had to go back to the COBRA plan for coverage for the month of December.  All in all, four hours of my time, and nearly $800 spent.  I’ll tackle life insurance tomorrow…

And taxes due today

…because today is the Virginia deadline to pay the second half of Personal Property Taxes for the year.  I had to talk to the Commissioner of Revenue and the Treasurer’s office, each twice, because Kevin’s Chevy truck (turned over last January) and the boat (sold in October) were still on the account.  It was another deflating hour retelling the story of Kevin’s  death, and getting the records all straightened out. The good news is that they waived a $353 delinquency for not paying the truck taxes back in June!

I think I’ll go out and treat myself to supper tonight.  I’ve earned it. Mexican sounds good.

Last paycheck, for a while

04 Friday Dec 2015

Posted by in Budgeting, Sabbatical

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My last paycheck from work was direct deposited today.  When I looked at the balance in my checking account and then at the bills needing to be paid, I had to take a deep breath and calm myself just a little. I told myself it will be okay. Abundance flows easily to me. I have enough, and I am enough.  I believe that when you are worried about having enough money, you should give some away – to keep the mindset of abundance instead of scarcity. So then I wrote out two checks, one to the American Heart Association, and one to the American Cancer Society.  Now I need to do the rest of my part, which is to stick to the budget I had made out when I decided to do this sabbatical. It will be alright. It is alright. I have everything I need, and the Universe will provide if I need anything else.

Budgeting 101

02 Monday Nov 2015

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The first question I encountered when I considered this sabbatical is how will I afford it? I’m sure it’s what most people think also but they are too polite to ask.  My friend Malori is 9, and she’s not shy.  She directly asked me where I got the money and how much I had.  My response was “I work, and I have enough” and that it was in the bank.  She was relieved to hear that because if I had it in a jar somewhere, a burglar could steal it, and then I might have to move!

Moving is the second question I faced.  I live in a lovely, fairly big house. It’s just under 2500 sq ft, which is more than one person and two dogs need.  But it’s comfortable and I like it. A lot.  I spent a fair amount of time during the early days of grief reclaiming this house as “mine” and not “ours.” That meant painting, for example, and rearranging furniture, taking the dead animals off the walls, and buying candles and plants, among other things.  I could sell it and move to a smaller place, but I’m not sure I’d gain much financially unless I left the area completely.  I have no equity in this house (that’s what moving 9 times in your adult life does to equity). Closing and moving costs would take money out of my pocket probably. And there’s the drama and hassle of moving to consider. Besides the really big question of Where?!? which I have no answer for right now.

Putting together a budget for a year is at best an educated guess, and at least a wild guess.  I’m sure it is harder to stick to it in the early days because the pool is much more full.  Budgeting is, though, really a declaration of one’s values. If you looked at my checkbook register right now, you’d conclude I like to eat (which isn’t necessarily a value of good health); I like books (which does indicate I like learning and entertainment); I buy a fair amount of gasoline because I come and go a lot (which may be a value I place on family and friends); and I indulge myself regularly with things like clothes and massages (read: I value self care).  Making the choices about where to trim and where to cut and where to just leave things alone is my challenge.  Of course, I made a plan before I made my decision to have this time off. Sticking to it will be hard, so I just have to make sure it’s worth it.  Easier said than done. I already found a women’s meditation retreat I want to go to, for the tune of $450 plus gas.  This is where the debate of investment v. expense comes in.  I haven’t signed up yet, but I’m seriously considering it.  I value my mental health more than … what? Movies? Busch Gardens? Eating out? Maybe all of them, if I have to come up with $500.

Budgeting 101.  I’m back to tossing around the idea of downsizing … or sharing my place. Maybe I can join AirBnB and bring in some income. Maybe I can sell something for additional cash (my motorcycle??).  Again, no drama and hassle wanted.  The key will be to discipline myself from the start and not hope to make up spent money down the line.  Which means I’d better go make my lunch for today!