Monthly Archives: February 2026

Confirming and Affirming My Decision to Move

23 Monday Feb 2026

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You know what it’s like to finally FINALLY have a chance to catch your breath? Where there’s not a single appointment on your calendar and absolutely nothing you have to do, even on your mental To Do list? That gap in the day where you almost hate to take a nap because you’d be wasting free time?? Me either! I’m not there yet, but I do think I’m getting closer. And that’s my goal – to have those days, maybe even once a week. To slow down a bit, to simplify my life, not just declutter it and keep things clean. Not even to be one of those Ladies Who Lunch. Just to pick and choose what to do today, guilt-free. Last week was not that week.

Let’s Have a Meeting

Meetings get a bad rap in the workplace, but they can definitely serve a purpose, especially if you have a plan. I started the week with a visit to my would-be home seller to try and formalize our agreement that I would buy her house when she eventually moves to be nearer to her family. You see, in order to buy her house, I have to sell mine. In order to sell mine, I have to get it listed on the local real estate market. In order to list my house, I have to get it not just decluttered-so-my-kids-don’t-have-to-someday but decluttered-and-depersonalized-and-sparking-clean-ready-for-a-photo-shoot. In order to get my house ready for prospective buyers, I have to get a few little things fixed up, such as repairing the door frames where a dog has clawed or chewed a piece; such as the light bulbs all being the same “temperature” so when they’re turned on the house looks warm and charming, not like a strobe light on its way to burning out; such as repainting the outdoor light fixture over the garage door that has bugged me for a year; such as adjusting the cabinet door that is loose, etc. You get it, right? The timeline is too loosey-goosey, and without a target date, I was feeling too much in free fall. What if she decided to not sell, or at least not now? What if she decided to list it and go for the highest bidder? What if she wants me to be ready to write a very big check?

Luckily, the big stuff at my current house is all in order, like the roof was reshingled last year, the water heater was replaced about 3-1/2 years ago, the heat pump was replaced about 5 years ago, the garage door opener was replaced about 2 years ago. In that sense, I have a pretty good idea of what things cost, if they have to be replaced at the next place. But it’s those little details that will consume time and could be easily overlooked if I was rushed to get ready. Yet, I don’t want to be ready for 6 or 10 months, if you know what I mean.

Getting the Ball Rolling

So we had a meeting. She had a friend there to advocate and look out for her interests. I also had a friend who could be an extra set of eyes to scope out things I might have overlooked. It was productive and very amicable. The end result was we agreed that she may want to get her attorney involved but won’t get a realtor involved (read: commi$$ion), although I will likely have a buyer’s agent. To get this ball rolling, she will contact a reputable real estate appraiser to guide her in setting an asking price, which we have not discussed at all yet. Once she has a decision made, then the ball drops into my court to make an offer. I can then decide if I want to have a home inspection done now or make an offer contingent upon a home inspection. This I could use as a basis to make a counteroffer, or depending on her ask, to determine what things I might want or need to be addressed (termite inspection? water spigots or outlets or light fixtures don’t work? wobbly railing tightened up? etc.). She still does not have a definite date in mind yet for her move but she did find an assisted living facility she wants to move to; she’s on a waiting list for an apartment to open up. We agreed that I will not list my house until she confirms her move date. She, too, needs time to declutter and pack up. So I won’t end up houseless. She is also willing to give me access (for a fee) for a month or so after she leaves and before I move in so that I can have carpet replaced or walls painted, and things like that. All in all, I went away feeling very good about our meeting.

Checking out the Competition

An Open House

As it happened, I had gone to an open house for a place for sale just up the street from this house the day before our meeting. I am doing research on comparable houses, for both money and floor plan. The house I want is a 2-bedroom; this open house was a 3-bedroom. The floor plan didn’t grab me, and I was glad to hear there was already an offer submitted. But I did meet a woman there who bought a house with an identical floor plan to my future house, and she was willing to give me a peek at what she has done. That really affirmed my vision for what I could do to customize “my” house. I was extremely satisfied that my choice is the right one for me.

A day or so later, I learned from a neighbor that a house four doors down from my own current house was going on the market. Again, main-floor living, which is what I want. But I want to downsize and simplify, not just find a place with a primary bedroom suite on the first floor. I think. If it’s the right deal …. right?!? Another day goes by and a For Sale sign goes up. Lo and behold, so did another house two streets over. I decided my realtor is going to earn his buyer’s agent commission!

Same Street House

The first house, the one right on my own street, looks good from my driveway. But the goodness ended there. The closer I got to the front door, the less appealing it was to me. Stonework was failing, and the mortar was missing or sitting on top of some of the stones on the facade. The stair railing had a bit of give. The floors inside had several soft spots, and if I had had a marble, I am sure it would have rolled around on some uneven floors. Trim work was missing around the attic access panel, windows had failing insulation strips, and the carpet was stained. There was a ramp in the garage, and the railing seemed to barely capable of staying upright. The house was also quite dated, which is not a deal breaker for me because I would probably want to put my own touches on it anyway, but the formica counters had scratches and slice marks, and the vinyl flooring was cut and curled here and there. Golly gee! I was thankful that my “other” house was not in this condition. Confirmation ratcheted up a notch. On to the second house.

2 Streets Away

This house had a bit of an incline in the driveway, so my first thought was, “I would never be able to back my camper in here,” followed by, “I wonder if my old car (a 2008 Sebring sits low) could clear this grade?” Then it had four or five steps to the front door, which I also would be happy to not have. Inside, though, this house was a keeper! Freshly painted, carpet replaced in the past year or two, kitchen updates, and a charming back yard off the sunroom. The layout was something that would have appealed to me greatly years ago. The thing was, it would be a lateral move, meaning I would just be swapping square footage for a different layout so my bedroom wouldn’t be upstairs. I don’t need or want three bedroom and three bathrooms. I don’t want or need a bonus room over the garage. I don’t want or need the price tag either. If this house had been available when I moved here 13 years ago, I would have scooped it right up, but not today. The seller’s realtor said she had back-to-back showings all day, and I was happy to hear it.

I drove away thankful not only that I have first dibs on the other house, but quite grateful that my choice was again affirmed. Sure, I have had my doubts from time to time whether I can really go from a 4 bedroom to a 2 bedroom, or that I can give up my rather large backyard for a much smaller one with no deck, or that I will be okay with a single tiny linen closet instead of the three I have now, or that I will not mourn the loss of my perfect big desk and bookcases in my soon-to-be-non-existent-office. But in the end, I keep coming back to the other house, the coziness, the welcoming vibe, the openness, the chance to start anew.

Doing The Work to Get Ready

I got to that place by doing “the work,” as it’s called, to mentally prepare for the downsize event. I completed the worksheets given out at the Downsizing Event program The Memorie Group has sponsored. The first one started with Embracing the Mindset of Change and Assessing The Current Living Situation, went on to Finding the Perfect Home, and Planning the Move Strategically. I also completed a Clarity Audit from an Uplevel Your Life program I participated in about 10 years ago. The first question I answered was “If you could wave a realistic magic wand, where would you like to be 12 months from now?” And then the same question for 2 years out. This audit went on to ask me about things I “tolerate” about my life, things I put up with, that bug me, that I don’t do anything about even if I could. I made lists of things I want to do more of on a daily/weekly/monthly/yearly basis. And then I wrote out what my Ideal Average Day would be like, and what my Ideal home/community looks like. I had a fairly good idea by the time I went to see these houses of what I was looking for and could tell pretty quickly what wasn’t there.

The Mental Leap has been Achieved

My confidence keeps growing that this is the right thing for me to do, and it’s also the right time and right place. If it turns out that I can’t make the deal I want for my preferred new home, I am still making changes in my current house that will sustain me for a while. I will assume that there is an even better place being made ready for me. In the meantime, I can fix the things that I tolerate, I can paint the walls if I want, I can buy new furniture, I can dream up new goals. I’m pretty good at carrying out plans once I get them written down. This whole downsizing experience, while still in the early stages, has resulted in some great fringe benefits already. I acknowledge more the life I have and the way I live it. I appreciate the feelings of certainty and generosity I get when I can drop off another box of books or dishes or decor at a place someone else can enjoy them. I experience excitement and anticipation just from looking at beautiful pictures of possibilities for the next chapter I’m entering.

The Move Book is Coming Next

I’ve started a Move Book, where I keep all my notes related to .. yes .. this upcoming move. Next time I’ll tell you about it. If you’re tiring of not being to put your hands on a post-it note or scrap of notebook or back of an envelope where you’ve jotted down a number or name or idea, maybe you’ll appreciate another way to consolidate these things. Til then, happy planning and decluttering!

Progress Report, and it’s exciting!

16 Monday Feb 2026

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Most of us have been dealing with a lot of winter lately, and here in Virginia, the ice and snow have lingered. It feels like a Groundhog Day moment back to 2020, the year of Covid quarantines. However, not everything is negative. Like during Covid, I enjoyed movies, fireplaces, good books, and homemade soup. I also did some housecleaning and decluttering. Here’s what I’ve accomplished in the past two weeks.

Books.

I donated another box of books to the Friends of the Library, bringing my total to 6 boxes with around 20-30 books each. It may seem like a lot, but I have 7 bookcases. Even after this donation, I still have only one empty shelf. However, I did incorporate 2 large tubs of Native American pottery my brother gave me and rearranged some items to balance the look. I’m keeping one shelf completely empty to motivate myself. Most of the books I’ve donated are non-fiction professional development titles from my career. What I still have includes old photo albums, oracle and tarot cards, journals, travel books, and reference materials. My goal isn’t to get rid of all my books, just to refine my collection.

Kitchen things.

I went through what I call my Tupperware cabinet, although there really isn’t any Tupperware in it. It’s a huge assortment of plastic storage containers. I got rid of anything with that melted look from the microwaving you’re not supposed to do anyway, or the ones stained from red pasta sauce, and the ones without lids or where the warped lid and warped bowl no longer work together. I kept the glass containers (better environmentally as well), and since I don’t do much cooking anymore, I let go of many that I won’t have use for. Really – does one woman who doesn’t cook need 3 dozen 1-2 cup containers?? I also donated my Pampered Chef mandolin that tried to eat one of my fingers and has not been used since the very first time, and a set of cute 1-cup bowls that were still in the box. I liked them so much, and they were on sale back in the day, so I had bought 2 boxes of 10 (yikes! what was I thinking??), and the second box has just been gathering dust. And no surprise, I had a cabinet section dedicated to coffee mugs, but no more. I kept the ones that fit on the hanging rack on the side of the cabinet, and the rest went in the donation box. I still have quite a few, but really don’t need the one from the insurance agent or the conference I went to or the one that was left from a matched pair that was too heavy for everyday use; they are pretty as pencil holders but when it’s heavy before you fit it with hot liquid, and my hands suffer from a little trigger finger, I decided to be reasonable. I let go of almost a dozen of those.

Glass decor.

I have (had) a lot of my pretties, as I call them, displayed here and there, including on my bookcase shelves. I refined the collection of amber glassware in particular. I started a fascination for amber swung vases a few years ago, but that led to other types of amber glassware – candy dishes, plates, bowls, vases, nightlights, etc. I decided to keep the swung vases, one plate, and two candy dish-type pieces, and the rest can go. A few seasonal items like a pumpkin shaped cookie jar, a Christmas themed covered jar, and the like went in the donation box, too. I hosted Bunco for the neighborhood women last week. My hostess gift to them was a donation table set up in the living room. Everyone was encouraged to take something – anything they wanted – and almost everyone did. What’s left is now ready to be boxed up, no more deciding to be done.

Estate Planning.

So I’ve been making my lists and checking twice. The next thing up was to get the “adulting” done. I met with an attorney, had a new Will drafted, created a Trust, and for fun, a Power of Attorney and Advanced Medical Directive. When you live solo, as I do, it’s easy to put things off. I put them off for over 10 years, since my husband died. I kept telling myself there was time to attend to that business, but never got around to it. Until now. Last week I signed my new estate planning documents. My kids were supportive and helpful and willing to do whatever I wanted them to in terms of serving as executor or attorney-in-fact, and such. Fortunately, they are all doing well and have stable families of their own, so I didn’t need to go down Morbid Avenue and select guardians for them, nor fuss that one was going to need more than another, or worry about being equal v. being fair. This fit my downsizing plan in the sense that I was downsizing my worrying load. Plus, it had the added benefit of opening the sometimes awkward conversations about mortality and possessions and life in general. It’s not a cheap endeavor, and I had to invest a few short-term dollars for long-term peace of mind, but I am so relieved to have that done.

The Downsizing Program element.

I used Richard Campbell, a local attorney I met through the Downsizing Event sponsored by The Memorie Group. From introduction to draft to final signing, was less than a month. All my questions were answered, but it’s a lot to digest, so I was very grateful to get summaries of what to do – for me as well as my someday executor/trustee/attorney-in-fact. And bonus: he’s young enough that he should still be around whenever I kick that proverbial bucket so he can help my kids execute my plans. The Downsizing program has introduced me to many valuable resources for making my life easier, even if I wasn’t planning to move. The somewhat structured plan walking me through the various elements of making a significant life change has been very beneficial. It’s not a list of things to do in order; it has offered me a way to think and process these changes, as well as pointing out the options I have, and then guiding me toward progress, not just completion. The decisions are all mine, as is the timeline, but when you are staring at the abyss, it’s reassuring to be able to lay all the puzzle pieces on the table and see the big picture through my own eyes.

My Future Home.

And then some exciting tidbits of news came my way about the house I have been interested in. The owner has taken her first couple of steps toward making this happen. She went to visit family, found a possible future home for herself, and has started to divest herself of at least one of her collections. Another neighbor put their home for sale, and I went to that open house yesterday. Luckily for me, the house already has an offer pending, so no chaos ensued to distract me from my tentative plans, but here’s the thing. I got talking with another visitor at the open house turned out to be the new next-door neighbor to the open house house, and has the very floor plan in her house that is the same as the house I’m interested. I ended up getting a tour of her house,too, and my enthusiasm was elevated a notch or three! She has done great things, and I could see the potential that I envisioned come to life. Not only that, but this new owner has a daughter who lives in our neighborhood and who may be interested in my house!! Wouldn’t that be something?!? The owner/mother said her daughter has been walking the neighborhood and expressed a desire to live on my street but definitely wants a bigger house since she now has a baby (maybe a second child, not sure) and two dogs (so fenced yard). Mom is going to talk to daughter about my house. And I may have made a new friend in the process. On the street I would maybe be moving to. The stars are aligning, and I couldn’t be happier about this turn of events.

I can see it from here!

It’s energizing to not only see the flywheel start to move, but to actually feel that I’m gaining momentum. All the drudge work of touching each and every one of my things, from books to extra spatulas and plastic containers, to decorative vases and bowls, to clothes I don’t wear any more, and then making a decision to Keep, Sell, Donate, or Trash every one of them is overwhelming, tiring, boring, emotional, and time consuming, adds up to exhausting for me. So the little wins like finding inspiration in someone else’s home, or getting support from friends who aren’t yet tired of my whining about how long this is taking and how far I have to go yet, means a lot to me. I still have my daily chores to attend to, like vacuuming, walking the dogs, taking the trash out, emptying the dishwasher, grocery shopping, laundry, etc. The 40 Things in 40 Days list I made is very useful to keeping me moving forward. But the checklists I got from Silver Sherpa at The Memorie Group have been invaluable in establishing a proper mindset from the get-go. Coupled with the support from a live person to talk to, it’s exponentially more valuable than reading a book (or a blog post, but I hope you’ll keep reading anyway!). All the other times I have relocated have been primarily propelled by the need to start work at a new job in 2-3 weeks. Now I am propelled by the strong desire to start an enhanced lifestyle. If you’ve any advice to share as I am on this journey, please don’t hesitate to share!!

To begin, one must begin!

02 Monday Feb 2026

Posted by in Connecting the Dots, DOWNSIZING, Making progress, SIMPLIFYING, Uncategorized

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As you might guess, my mind has been zipping and zooming around with the idea of downsizing and moving. When? Where? Ugh! The very thought of packing and schlepping and relocating is… ugh. I have moved A LOT in my life, so I know what’s involved. In fact, the longest time span I’ve had the same address in my entire life is at the house I’m in now. Moving every 5-8 years tends to result in a natural sort of purging. And always, I’ve had kids and/or a husband to help make decisions, test out choices, and literally, shoulder the burden (or carry boxes, as the case may be). But I was determined I would do this on my own terms, while I had options, instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop and the choices being taken away from me.

October raced by, and then November was here. I had yet to sit down and put my thoughts on paper and release them into the Universe. In between doctor appointments and making travel plans for the dream trip I was about to embark on, I felt I was already stuck on the hurdles and not at all enjoying the prospect of a fresh start with a simplified lifestyle. I had put the handouts from the October class away in the desk, and true to form, it was out of sight-out of mind for a while.

Then I got a little Divine assist. An email showed up in my Inbox, offering to join a beta group of people to help the sponsoring partner of this program develop a Silver Sherpa component. This sherpa would be a guide, an accountability partner, a sounding board…exactly what I needed! I wanted to take these ideas and do something with them, but I was treading water, feeling a little overwhelmed by what I hadn’t done instead of what I could do going forward. Of course, I immediately responded that I was interested, and to my surprise, I was selected as one of 10 participants.

The Ultimate Checklist for an Exciting Downsizing Adventure

The November class was coming up, and I would get more information then. Sure enough, I got The Ultimate Checklist for an Exciting Downsizing Adventure. Ten steps for making this journey work for me instead of against me.

  1. Embrace the Mindset of Change
  2. Assess Your Current Living Situation
  3. Create a Downsizing Timeline
  4. Declutter with a Purpose
  5. Organize Finances and Documents
  6. Find the Perfect New Home
  7. Engage the Right Professionals
  8. Plan the Move Strategically
  9. Get to Know the New Community
  10. Celebrate the New Adventure.

The concluding sentence on the brochure made me realize I had chosen the right way to do this. It read “Downsizing is not just about letting go – it’s about making space for a vibrant, new chapter.” I made a commitment to myself that I would do this intentionally, with thoughtful planning, professional support, and an open heart. I was going to make this a step forward, not a step back or down… in fact, I was going to get rid of steps literally in my very house, so that I could make the rest of my years (of which I hope there are many – at least 20 or 30!) more livable, fulfilling, and carefree. At least in terms of maintenance and in-home safety.

Thinking before Acting

I started to share my thoughts with a few close friends, and my kids. I didn’t actually have a plan but was forming one. That first step my Sherpa talked about – the mindset – was the key to me being willing to not only embrace the idea but to build momentum and then execute the plan I put together. I’m one of those people who is really keen on understanding the reasons why and having things make sense to me, to fit my truths based on past experiences. One of my favorite expressions is from Neale Donald Walsch, author of Conversations With God. It is: “The only reason to do anything is as an expression of who you are.” And so I talked about my options and ideas, and I tried to keep them in the context of Who I Am and how I wanted to be. For example, I think I am a generous person, and so donating some of my things instead of selling them, fits my definition of generosity. But some things do have a monetary value and I’m also not a fool, so for things I sell, it is important to be fair and not greedy. Defining one’s sense of self is a time-consuming but rewarding experience for me.

After a lot of contemplation, it was time to create the working plan. I am making my list(s) and checking it twice. I’m also bouncing around and rearranging the pieces a bit, as I simultaneously schedule appointments with an attorney, realtors, and friends. I’m touring new homes and visiting friends with alternative floor plans in different communities. I’m piling up donation items I come across while gathering documents and organizing files. I’m going in circles, but it’s not quite a merry-go-round, it’s more like a moving sidewalk.

As you know, I made up what I thought was going to be my To Do checklist. And I made an inventory of sorts of my current belongings. I found a potential next home for me, and I played with the floorplan to help me solidify in my mind what I would keep, sell, donate, or trash. And that’s all well and good. But that house is not yet for sale, which means I can play with the timeline and take it easy. Or so I thought.

40 Things in 40 Days

I heard a rumor that the homeowner of my possible next home was out house hunting. Maybe this is really going to happen sooner than I thought!?! I made another list last week: 40 things in 40 days. Forty spaces in my house that need decluttering or sorting and organizing… or packing even. It includes the following – which is not an exhaustive list by any means. For instance, it does not include things that need to be done to get my house ready to list for sale. It’s just my attempt at making my decluttering plan more realistic.

  • The Tupperware cabinet (which always needs sorting and organizing)
  • The bookcases (I have 7, and only do 1 at a time)
  • Office closet (folders, binders, boxes old phones came in, cords for electronics, etc.)
  • My closet (again, always needs help to keep manageable)
  • Kevin’s closet (since he died, it’s become the upstairs mini-garage of tools, vacuum cleaner, suitcases, construction leftovers from bathroom remodel, Christmas wrapping paper and boxes, Costco toilet paper, paint, etc.)
  • Guest room closets (seasonal bedding mostly)
  • Pantry in kitchen (for expired food and that which I just don’t eat – like stale cereal)
  • The china cabinet (dishes, as well as table linens)
  • Under the kitchen sink (’nuff said!)
  • Shelves in the laundry room (large appliances like bread maker, extra cleaning supplies, dog bath stuff, etc.)
  • Dog stuff in garage (I foster dogs, so have LOTS of excess for various sizes and genders and breeds)

Anyway, you get the idea. Some spaces will take 10 minutes, others will take 10 hours! I’m happy to report I’ve already donated 4 boxes of books to the Friends of the Library and my neighborhood Little Free Library, and I have one more box packed and ready to deliver. I have agreed to let a friend try and sell two boxes of glass decor items, and I have one more box packed and ready to deliver to her. I have got one large bag of clothes and shoes from my closet, one large bag of lap quilts and couch blankets, and one box of kitchen decor items ready to be picked up by our local D.A.V. tomorrow. Oh, and so far, it’s still just a rumor about “my” house being up for sale…

Me or Them?

For years, I’ve rebelled against the decluttering trends and resisted doing the Swedish Death Cleaning to make the lives of my kids easier whenever I do cease to live in this realm. I’ve always felt that I should live my life for me in the present, and not for my kids for someday. I’m not the kind to be afraid of doing something that maybe “someday” will make it difficult to sell my house because some mysterious future buyer won’t like a purple bedroom. But I do admit that there is a deep feeling of satisfaction to be doing this for myself – and not just because I might be downsizing and moving this year or someday, but because I am in the mood to simplify my life. That means easing up on what I spend my time cleaning and dusting and rearranging, or looking for when there’s too much to go through, or having space for a new treasure I’ve found out in the wild, or freeing up money for travel or whatever.

I don’t remember who said it, but some author wrote about writing that to begin, one must begin. And wherever this project leads me, I have begun. Someday it might actually be writing that book, but for today, it’s about simplifying my life so that I can be more of who I want to be, doing what I want to do, and having all the feels along the way.