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~ Dealing with change doesn't mean starting over; it's about how you transition from wherever you are right now to the next place.

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Tag Archives: Lists

My Move Book, and other tips

01 Sunday Mar 2026

Posted by Pat in Uncategorized

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Tags

#Downsizing #Transitions, life, Lists, Monica's Closet, moving

Do you remember Monica’s closet, on the tv show Friends? The one she kept locked, and Chandler wasn’t allowed to see what was in it? And then one day when she wasn’t home, he came across the key and opened it. It was full (FULL) of stuff. Stacked, tossed, shmushed in, shoved into every nook and cranny full. The neat freak Monica was found out to have a flaw after all, and it was hiding her clutter in the closet instead of dealing with it. I happened to find such a closet in my own house just today. Not realizing the extent of my stuffing ability, I thought I could get it emptied out in a couple of hours, and then I would have a staging area for bringing into the daylight all the Christmas boxes (the 3 dozen +) boxes in the eaves storage attic that need to be dealt with.

It turns out I am quite the efficiency expert extraordinaire!! It was like all the clowns exiting the little car. I kept taking things out, and there was always more in there. It was a plain old bedroom closet. Nothing fancy. Not walk-in. Jusat two shelves above the hanging clothes rod. But I managed to put a plastic 4-shelf unit on one end. Two of those shelves were full of books – the coffee table type, really too large for a standard bookcase. There was also a quilt from the days when my babies (who are now all in their 40’s) were little ones, a Snuggy thing my husband gave me as a gift once, a shower curtain, and a plastic tablecloth. There was a banker’s box that was full of other empty boxes. A Wii (remember those?). A DVD player and a VHS player, neither of which work, plus all the attendant cords and cables. A calligraphy set. A brand new box of colored pencils and three coloring books for grown ups. Two empty egg cartons, and a Styrofoam meat tray (likely used for some craft projects or sorting crafting supplies). And that was just the shelf thing. There were also three cushions from a couch I no longer have, that I think I used as a mattress on a cot once when my kids and grandkids came to visit a few years ago. Four Styrofoam insulation panels. A bag of plastic bags. A bag of unopened tissue paper (4 packages). A bag of reusable bags. A bag of gift bags. A bag of Christmas bows and ribbons and gift tags. A bag of fluffy cotton trim I used on some camper curtains, and some other curtains I made for the camper a few years ago that have since been replaced. And that’s not all. I could go on, but why subject myself to more humiliation? Ugh.

Oh yes, and there was a box of old love letters, letters from my parents, letters and cards from my kids, birthday cards from my sisters and girlfriends, pictures and more pictures and more pictures (remember when you could get double prints for free?). All the above stuff is still spread all over that bedroom, but I just closed the door and walked out. Except for the letters, cards, and photos, though – you know I spent HOURS going through every single one. Every. Single. One. I eventually sorted some of them out, and then I shredded the envelopes and most of the letters. My kids do not need to know every little thing about my life. But what I do want them to smile over, like the drawings my granddaughters did for me, or the Mother’s Day messages my boys gave me, or the newspapers articles about some of the boys’ golf meets or basketball games or awards I got or my daughter’s acting playbills, well, those are back in the box to be discovered again some day.

This day sort of violated one of the “rules” of decluttering, which is to avoid the handling and reminiscing and remembering of each and every card and photo while in the midst of a large-scale Keep/Donate/Sell/Trash project. How do I know it’s a rule? Because I have created a Move Book. Not just my made-up rules, but also advice and other resources I have collected from the many moves I have made over the years. As an adult, I think I have moved 13 times. The home I am in now is the longest I have had the same address in my entire life, so the natural purging that can happen every 5-8 years or so hasn’t happened for me in soon-to-be-13-years. I start a new book each time, but the lists and notes get reviewed each time and some get carried over.

This Move Book is just a spiral notebook that is the one place I keep my notes and scraps of paper with names or phone numbers on them, my lists of things to do and things done, and envelopes with paint chips or photos, and a calendar. Yes, a picture would help, but again, I’m struggling with this. My phone updated two nights ago, and now I’ve had to search for photos and not all of them want to upload gracefully. Sorry about that.

Anyway, here is what I have in my Move Book for my possible (not yet under contract, not even for sale yet) upcoming move:

  • RULES AND TIPS: My own made-up guidance about things that worked or didn’t work so well last time. Like don’t handle anything more than once. Deal with it the first time. See other tips below.
  • MOVING COST ESTIMATES, including websites like moving.com as well as local movers. I have a “key” of how many miles I will be moving, how many bedrooms I am moving, whether I am doing the packing or they are, supplies needed, labor, etc. Some sites will help you estimate how many boxes you ‘ll need. For example, based on the square footage of the place you are moving from, using an average from their customers, one person moving from a 3-bedroom home will require 45 medium sized boxes, 31 large boxes, and 11 extra-large boxes, 14# of packing paper, 3 rolls of tape, 2 tape dispensers, and 2 markers. You may also need blankets or bubble wrap, mattress bags, a dolly, and specialty boxes for artwork or mirrors. These boxes, plus furniture, will likely require a 26’ box rental truck (if you’re doing it yourself). If you want to hire professional movers to fit and secure everything in the truck, you pay by the hour per person. Once I have all this information, I can then compare U-Haul, Penske, and other truck rental places to see what it might cost me.
    • TIP: Large and Extra Large boxes may not be as useful as you think. They get HEAVY when packed. So someone else (not me) would need to lift and/or carry them. Small boxes are better. Unless you are packing pillows or lamps or large spaghetti pots and bread machines, etc.
    • TIP: Color code the boxes, one color per room. When unloading, put a matching piece of colored paper on the door jamb of the room those boxes go in.
    • TIP: Keep an inventory of what’s in each box, on the box. It does little good to have 30 boxes, coded green, that only say Garage on them. When you get to the new house, and the kitchen table or the bed needs to be assembled, you don’t want to start the hunt for the right tools that used to be in the garage when you packed everything up. Ask me how I know (or actually, how my husband learned this the hard way). Much better to go to the 15 boxes that are marked Red for Kitchen and find the very one with the coffee pot in it. And on that note, keep some filters and the coffee grounds in the same box. If you don’t have a FIRST box – the first box to be unpacked (should have basic tools and a coffee pot/ filters/coffee and mug, along with a first aid kit in it), think hard about why you don’t.
  • TIMELINE/CALENDAR: Starting 8 weeks out, then 7 weeks out, 6 weeks, and going all the way to the day before, then moving day, and the first month after the move. This includes things like reserving the truck, sending the mail forwarding notice to the post office, getting vet records, changing locks, updating driver’s license, etc. If you don’t know the actual moving date, as I don’t yet, use the timeline as a to-do list. Some things can’t be done until almost the last minute, but this way you won’t forget crucial things.
  • STORAGE UNITS: In the event you need to move in chunks because of decluttering, selling, staging the current house, leaving room in new place for painters, etc. This is a list of local places, what the rates are for what size unit, and the like. An alternative is the use of PODS, those storage containers that are dropped off in your driveway, you fill it up, they come get it, store it, and deliver it later. These costs will be handy in the next section.
  • BUDGET: For getting current place ready to sell (curb appeal needed? repairs? deep cleaning?), for selling costs and net proceeds expected, for costs of purchasing new place, moving expenses, and then personalizing the new place, which might include items on the home inspection list as well as the cost of new shower curtains, paint, new keys, etc. Along with this, calculator sites help me figure out what my payments would be at various price points, interest rates, down payment options, and the like. This way I can shop for the best deal when the time comes.
  • PRO/CON List for moving: For those days when you have second thoughts or things just aren’t going your way, it’s handy to have a reminder list. This also includes an ALTERNATIVES column. For example, instead of moving to a new house, or if the house isn’t ready for some reason, can you move into an RV for a while? Is house exchange an option? Can you couch surf? Is a vacation in order? What about a rent-back option?
  • SUPPORT: Not every friend is the right one to lean on for everything. So a list of who is a helper and has offered, who is best when you need a lunch date or a movie distraction, who knows somebody who can do something, is useful. A friend 1,000 miles away can’t pack up the kitchen but she can be on speaker phone while you are doing the work. This list also has websites that I can go to for some bolstering. It might be a humor site, or Kindred Downsizers, or Thoughtful Transitions.
  • BIG TO DO LIST, and little To Do Lists. The BIG list has projects to sell the current home, such as cleaning the chandelier in the stairwell, replacing the malfunctioning doorbell, or repairing the missing grout in the kitchen tile. The little list has things like Change Auto-ship on dog food delivery when the time comes.
  • WISH LIST: This has the new ideal house list, made up before I even knew about the house I’m hoping for, and affirmed in the Downsizing Program class I’m going to. My ideal house has 1600-1800 sq ft, 2-3 bedrooms, a yard for the dogs, preferably a 2-car garage (one side for car, one for workshop or storage), either sunrise or sunset views, single level (no stairs), access to medical care, proximity to shopping (groceries, gas, etc) and restaurants, reasonable HOA rules and dues. It helps keep me on track. Even though I know the actual house I want, if that doesn’t come to fruition, I won’t be wandering lost in the wilderness, starting over from scratch, tempted by houses that are outside the scope of my Wish List.
  • COMPS: I know what’s been selling in my neighborhood, which is where I hope to stay. But I also look at Zillow every now and then and see what’s available – both as a seller and as a buyer. This also includes what a neighbor just paid for a new roof, or what someone else paid to have her house painted, or who did the appraisal, and where the new countertops were purchased from and at what cost.
  • RESOURCES: Next to the Comps is a list of vendors neighbors have used recently. The flooring guy, the landscaper, the roofer, the plumber, etc. Even the high school guy(s) who are willing to help do heavy lifting for an afternoon or two. Where that great couch was purchased.
  • NOTES: Who I talked to and when, and maybe what about. A mortgage banker. A realtor. A neighbor. The seller.
  • QUESTIONS TO ASK: Basic questions about big ticket items at the new place, like age of roof or HVAC are first on the list. What might bloom in the yard, and when. A home inspection will help me identify many of these.
  • FLOOR PLAN: I happen to have my prospect in my sights. She has agreed to let me measure her house and draw up a floor plan so I can gauge what might fit, or not. This also includes possible color schemes and other home design ideas.
  • MOOD BOARD: This isn’t really a mood board; it’s Pat’s Possibilities. It’s a mishmash of Pinterest photos, magazine cut-outs, and paint chips, to aid my creativity and give me a break from the drudgery of cleaning out closets that lead you to tears and feelings of despair that it’s all going to be for naught. When my mood is upbeat, I play with color schemes or like when I was a little girl and played paper dolls, I cut out sample sofas and chairs. When my mood is fading and I’m feeling overwhelmed, I can remind myself of what this work could lead to. Maybe I won’t really have the pool in the back yard but I can still have pretty flowers around a fountain. When the gas bill comes in more than 50% higher than last month, I can look at my dream pages and imagine a lower gas bill because I’ll be in only half the house.
  • DECLUTTERED List. This is a running list of the things I have boxed up and donated or sent with a friend to sell. And what I’ve thrown out (1 cushion gone, 2 to go). It might be useful for income taxes next year, but for now, it’s my progress report. The earlier list I shared, my 40 things in 40 days days (or 37 things in 37 days, whatever it was), is there, with check marks or strike-throughs to indicate it’s done.
  • INVENTORY: This was referred to in an earlier post. This is a list of what I own, and as I dispose of it, I can cross it off. It will help me figure out what is left to deal with when it comes time to actually move.
  • GET ORGANIZED List: This was also referred to in an earlier post. It’s a great motivator when I need it, as it helps me prioritize what I need to get done. It’s not structured so that one thing follows another; it’s more fluid than that. It all needs to be done at some point, and for now, I can pick and choose what to do, and when. When I get an official contract and the clock really starts ticking, then I will be able to see at a glance what’s left on the list, or if this deal stalls, then I can decide if I want or need to keep plugging along and what my next steps will be. And I’ll be in a much better position to take appropriate action.

So that’s how I am staying organized – at least on paper. The bedroom upstairs isn’t quite so well appointed, but I got a start, so that’s what matters. My combination Pinterest/Excel/Notebook/Envelope system is a bit of a jumble but it’s all in one place and easy to spot on my desk or wherever I’ve laid it down. And now I’m going to take a quick mini-vacation for a sibling reunion, sans dogs and Move Book. Just me and the open road, for a full week of recharging.

Until I get back, feel free to share your tips for making the downsizing journey or the actual move go easier. I’d like to add your tips to my plans.

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To begin, one must begin!

02 Monday Feb 2026

Posted by Pat in Connecting the Dots, DOWNSIZING, Making progress, SIMPLIFYING, Uncategorized

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Tags

#Downsizing #Transitions, #SILVERSHERPA, Beginning, Lists

As you might guess, my mind has been zipping and zooming around with the idea of downsizing and moving. When? Where? Ugh! The very thought of packing and schlepping and relocating is… ugh. I have moved A LOT in my life, so I know what’s involved. In fact, the longest time span I’ve had the same address in my entire life is at the house I’m in now. Moving every 5-8 years tends to result in a natural sort of purging. And always, I’ve had kids and/or a husband to help make decisions, test out choices, and literally, shoulder the burden (or carry boxes, as the case may be). But I was determined I would do this on my own terms, while I had options, instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop and the choices being taken away from me.

October raced by, and then November was here. I had yet to sit down and put my thoughts on paper and release them into the Universe. In between doctor appointments and making travel plans for the dream trip I was about to embark on, I felt I was already stuck on the hurdles and not at all enjoying the prospect of a fresh start with a simplified lifestyle. I had put the handouts from the October class away in the desk, and true to form, it was out of sight-out of mind for a while.

Then I got a little Divine assist. An email showed up in my Inbox, offering to join a beta group of people to help the sponsoring partner of this program develop a Silver Sherpa component. This sherpa would be a guide, an accountability partner, a sounding board…exactly what I needed! I wanted to take these ideas and do something with them, but I was treading water, feeling a little overwhelmed by what I hadn’t done instead of what I could do going forward. Of course, I immediately responded that I was interested, and to my surprise, I was selected as one of 10 participants.

The Ultimate Checklist for an Exciting Downsizing Adventure

The November class was coming up, and I would get more information then. Sure enough, I got The Ultimate Checklist for an Exciting Downsizing Adventure. Ten steps for making this journey work for me instead of against me.

  1. Embrace the Mindset of Change
  2. Assess Your Current Living Situation
  3. Create a Downsizing Timeline
  4. Declutter with a Purpose
  5. Organize Finances and Documents
  6. Find the Perfect New Home
  7. Engage the Right Professionals
  8. Plan the Move Strategically
  9. Get to Know the New Community
  10. Celebrate the New Adventure.

The concluding sentence on the brochure made me realize I had chosen the right way to do this. It read “Downsizing is not just about letting go – it’s about making space for a vibrant, new chapter.” I made a commitment to myself that I would do this intentionally, with thoughtful planning, professional support, and an open heart. I was going to make this a step forward, not a step back or down… in fact, I was going to get rid of steps literally in my very house, so that I could make the rest of my years (of which I hope there are many – at least 20 or 30!) more livable, fulfilling, and carefree. At least in terms of maintenance and in-home safety.

Thinking before Acting

I started to share my thoughts with a few close friends, and my kids. I didn’t actually have a plan but was forming one. That first step my Sherpa talked about – the mindset – was the key to me being willing to not only embrace the idea but to build momentum and then execute the plan I put together. I’m one of those people who is really keen on understanding the reasons why and having things make sense to me, to fit my truths based on past experiences. One of my favorite expressions is from Neale Donald Walsch, author of Conversations With God. It is: “The only reason to do anything is as an expression of who you are.” And so I talked about my options and ideas, and I tried to keep them in the context of Who I Am and how I wanted to be. For example, I think I am a generous person, and so donating some of my things instead of selling them, fits my definition of generosity. But some things do have a monetary value and I’m also not a fool, so for things I sell, it is important to be fair and not greedy. Defining one’s sense of self is a time-consuming but rewarding experience for me.

After a lot of contemplation, it was time to create the working plan. I am making my list(s) and checking it twice. I’m also bouncing around and rearranging the pieces a bit, as I simultaneously schedule appointments with an attorney, realtors, and friends. I’m touring new homes and visiting friends with alternative floor plans in different communities. I’m piling up donation items I come across while gathering documents and organizing files. I’m going in circles, but it’s not quite a merry-go-round, it’s more like a moving sidewalk.

As you know, I made up what I thought was going to be my To Do checklist. And I made an inventory of sorts of my current belongings. I found a potential next home for me, and I played with the floorplan to help me solidify in my mind what I would keep, sell, donate, or trash. And that’s all well and good. But that house is not yet for sale, which means I can play with the timeline and take it easy. Or so I thought.

40 Things in 40 Days

I heard a rumor that the homeowner of my possible next home was out house hunting. Maybe this is really going to happen sooner than I thought!?! I made another list last week: 40 things in 40 days. Forty spaces in my house that need decluttering or sorting and organizing… or packing even. It includes the following – which is not an exhaustive list by any means. For instance, it does not include things that need to be done to get my house ready to list for sale. It’s just my attempt at making my decluttering plan more realistic.

  • The Tupperware cabinet (which always needs sorting and organizing)
  • The bookcases (I have 7, and only do 1 at a time)
  • Office closet (folders, binders, boxes old phones came in, cords for electronics, etc.)
  • My closet (again, always needs help to keep manageable)
  • Kevin’s closet (since he died, it’s become the upstairs mini-garage of tools, vacuum cleaner, suitcases, construction leftovers from bathroom remodel, Christmas wrapping paper and boxes, Costco toilet paper, paint, etc.)
  • Guest room closets (seasonal bedding mostly)
  • Pantry in kitchen (for expired food and that which I just don’t eat – like stale cereal)
  • The china cabinet (dishes, as well as table linens)
  • Under the kitchen sink (’nuff said!)
  • Shelves in the laundry room (large appliances like bread maker, extra cleaning supplies, dog bath stuff, etc.)
  • Dog stuff in garage (I foster dogs, so have LOTS of excess for various sizes and genders and breeds)

Anyway, you get the idea. Some spaces will take 10 minutes, others will take 10 hours! I’m happy to report I’ve already donated 4 boxes of books to the Friends of the Library and my neighborhood Little Free Library, and I have one more box packed and ready to deliver. I have agreed to let a friend try and sell two boxes of glass decor items, and I have one more box packed and ready to deliver to her. I have got one large bag of clothes and shoes from my closet, one large bag of lap quilts and couch blankets, and one box of kitchen decor items ready to be picked up by our local D.A.V. tomorrow. Oh, and so far, it’s still just a rumor about “my” house being up for sale…

Me or Them?

For years, I’ve rebelled against the decluttering trends and resisted doing the Swedish Death Cleaning to make the lives of my kids easier whenever I do cease to live in this realm. I’ve always felt that I should live my life for me in the present, and not for my kids for someday. I’m not the kind to be afraid of doing something that maybe “someday” will make it difficult to sell my house because some mysterious future buyer won’t like a purple bedroom. But I do admit that there is a deep feeling of satisfaction to be doing this for myself – and not just because I might be downsizing and moving this year or someday, but because I am in the mood to simplify my life. That means easing up on what I spend my time cleaning and dusting and rearranging, or looking for when there’s too much to go through, or having space for a new treasure I’ve found out in the wild, or freeing up money for travel or whatever.

I don’t remember who said it, but some author wrote about writing that to begin, one must begin. And wherever this project leads me, I have begun. Someday it might actually be writing that book, but for today, it’s about simplifying my life so that I can be more of who I want to be, doing what I want to do, and having all the feels along the way.

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