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~ Dealing with change doesn't mean starting over; it's about how you transition from wherever you are right now to the next place.

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Tag Archives: moving

My Move Book, and other tips

01 Sunday Mar 2026

Posted by Pat in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

#Downsizing #Transitions, life, Lists, Monica's Closet, moving

Do you remember Monica’s closet, on the tv show Friends? The one she kept locked, and Chandler wasn’t allowed to see what was in it? And then one day when she wasn’t home, he came across the key and opened it. It was full (FULL) of stuff. Stacked, tossed, shmushed in, shoved into every nook and cranny full. The neat freak Monica was found out to have a flaw after all, and it was hiding her clutter in the closet instead of dealing with it. I happened to find such a closet in my own house just today. Not realizing the extent of my stuffing ability, I thought I could get it emptied out in a couple of hours, and then I would have a staging area for bringing into the daylight all the Christmas boxes (the 3 dozen +) boxes in the eaves storage attic that need to be dealt with.

It turns out I am quite the efficiency expert extraordinaire!! It was like all the clowns exiting the little car. I kept taking things out, and there was always more in there. It was a plain old bedroom closet. Nothing fancy. Not walk-in. Jusat two shelves above the hanging clothes rod. But I managed to put a plastic 4-shelf unit on one end. Two of those shelves were full of books – the coffee table type, really too large for a standard bookcase. There was also a quilt from the days when my babies (who are now all in their 40’s) were little ones, a Snuggy thing my husband gave me as a gift once, a shower curtain, and a plastic tablecloth. There was a banker’s box that was full of other empty boxes. A Wii (remember those?). A DVD player and a VHS player, neither of which work, plus all the attendant cords and cables. A calligraphy set. A brand new box of colored pencils and three coloring books for grown ups. Two empty egg cartons, and a Styrofoam meat tray (likely used for some craft projects or sorting crafting supplies). And that was just the shelf thing. There were also three cushions from a couch I no longer have, that I think I used as a mattress on a cot once when my kids and grandkids came to visit a few years ago. Four Styrofoam insulation panels. A bag of plastic bags. A bag of unopened tissue paper (4 packages). A bag of reusable bags. A bag of gift bags. A bag of Christmas bows and ribbons and gift tags. A bag of fluffy cotton trim I used on some camper curtains, and some other curtains I made for the camper a few years ago that have since been replaced. And that’s not all. I could go on, but why subject myself to more humiliation? Ugh.

Oh yes, and there was a box of old love letters, letters from my parents, letters and cards from my kids, birthday cards from my sisters and girlfriends, pictures and more pictures and more pictures (remember when you could get double prints for free?). All the above stuff is still spread all over that bedroom, but I just closed the door and walked out. Except for the letters, cards, and photos, though – you know I spent HOURS going through every single one. Every. Single. One. I eventually sorted some of them out, and then I shredded the envelopes and most of the letters. My kids do not need to know every little thing about my life. But what I do want them to smile over, like the drawings my granddaughters did for me, or the Mother’s Day messages my boys gave me, or the newspapers articles about some of the boys’ golf meets or basketball games or awards I got or my daughter’s acting playbills, well, those are back in the box to be discovered again some day.

This day sort of violated one of the “rules” of decluttering, which is to avoid the handling and reminiscing and remembering of each and every card and photo while in the midst of a large-scale Keep/Donate/Sell/Trash project. How do I know it’s a rule? Because I have created a Move Book. Not just my made-up rules, but also advice and other resources I have collected from the many moves I have made over the years. As an adult, I think I have moved 13 times. The home I am in now is the longest I have had the same address in my entire life, so the natural purging that can happen every 5-8 years or so hasn’t happened for me in soon-to-be-13-years. I start a new book each time, but the lists and notes get reviewed each time and some get carried over.

This Move Book is just a spiral notebook that is the one place I keep my notes and scraps of paper with names or phone numbers on them, my lists of things to do and things done, and envelopes with paint chips or photos, and a calendar. Yes, a picture would help, but again, I’m struggling with this. My phone updated two nights ago, and now I’ve had to search for photos and not all of them want to upload gracefully. Sorry about that.

Anyway, here is what I have in my Move Book for my possible (not yet under contract, not even for sale yet) upcoming move:

  • RULES AND TIPS: My own made-up guidance about things that worked or didn’t work so well last time. Like don’t handle anything more than once. Deal with it the first time. See other tips below.
  • MOVING COST ESTIMATES, including websites like moving.com as well as local movers. I have a “key” of how many miles I will be moving, how many bedrooms I am moving, whether I am doing the packing or they are, supplies needed, labor, etc. Some sites will help you estimate how many boxes you ‘ll need. For example, based on the square footage of the place you are moving from, using an average from their customers, one person moving from a 3-bedroom home will require 45 medium sized boxes, 31 large boxes, and 11 extra-large boxes, 14# of packing paper, 3 rolls of tape, 2 tape dispensers, and 2 markers. You may also need blankets or bubble wrap, mattress bags, a dolly, and specialty boxes for artwork or mirrors. These boxes, plus furniture, will likely require a 26’ box rental truck (if you’re doing it yourself). If you want to hire professional movers to fit and secure everything in the truck, you pay by the hour per person. Once I have all this information, I can then compare U-Haul, Penske, and other truck rental places to see what it might cost me.
    • TIP: Large and Extra Large boxes may not be as useful as you think. They get HEAVY when packed. So someone else (not me) would need to lift and/or carry them. Small boxes are better. Unless you are packing pillows or lamps or large spaghetti pots and bread machines, etc.
    • TIP: Color code the boxes, one color per room. When unloading, put a matching piece of colored paper on the door jamb of the room those boxes go in.
    • TIP: Keep an inventory of what’s in each box, on the box. It does little good to have 30 boxes, coded green, that only say Garage on them. When you get to the new house, and the kitchen table or the bed needs to be assembled, you don’t want to start the hunt for the right tools that used to be in the garage when you packed everything up. Ask me how I know (or actually, how my husband learned this the hard way). Much better to go to the 15 boxes that are marked Red for Kitchen and find the very one with the coffee pot in it. And on that note, keep some filters and the coffee grounds in the same box. If you don’t have a FIRST box – the first box to be unpacked (should have basic tools and a coffee pot/ filters/coffee and mug, along with a first aid kit in it), think hard about why you don’t.
  • TIMELINE/CALENDAR: Starting 8 weeks out, then 7 weeks out, 6 weeks, and going all the way to the day before, then moving day, and the first month after the move. This includes things like reserving the truck, sending the mail forwarding notice to the post office, getting vet records, changing locks, updating driver’s license, etc. If you don’t know the actual moving date, as I don’t yet, use the timeline as a to-do list. Some things can’t be done until almost the last minute, but this way you won’t forget crucial things.
  • STORAGE UNITS: In the event you need to move in chunks because of decluttering, selling, staging the current house, leaving room in new place for painters, etc. This is a list of local places, what the rates are for what size unit, and the like. An alternative is the use of PODS, those storage containers that are dropped off in your driveway, you fill it up, they come get it, store it, and deliver it later. These costs will be handy in the next section.
  • BUDGET: For getting current place ready to sell (curb appeal needed? repairs? deep cleaning?), for selling costs and net proceeds expected, for costs of purchasing new place, moving expenses, and then personalizing the new place, which might include items on the home inspection list as well as the cost of new shower curtains, paint, new keys, etc. Along with this, calculator sites help me figure out what my payments would be at various price points, interest rates, down payment options, and the like. This way I can shop for the best deal when the time comes.
  • PRO/CON List for moving: For those days when you have second thoughts or things just aren’t going your way, it’s handy to have a reminder list. This also includes an ALTERNATIVES column. For example, instead of moving to a new house, or if the house isn’t ready for some reason, can you move into an RV for a while? Is house exchange an option? Can you couch surf? Is a vacation in order? What about a rent-back option?
  • SUPPORT: Not every friend is the right one to lean on for everything. So a list of who is a helper and has offered, who is best when you need a lunch date or a movie distraction, who knows somebody who can do something, is useful. A friend 1,000 miles away can’t pack up the kitchen but she can be on speaker phone while you are doing the work. This list also has websites that I can go to for some bolstering. It might be a humor site, or Kindred Downsizers, or Thoughtful Transitions.
  • BIG TO DO LIST, and little To Do Lists. The BIG list has projects to sell the current home, such as cleaning the chandelier in the stairwell, replacing the malfunctioning doorbell, or repairing the missing grout in the kitchen tile. The little list has things like Change Auto-ship on dog food delivery when the time comes.
  • WISH LIST: This has the new ideal house list, made up before I even knew about the house I’m hoping for, and affirmed in the Downsizing Program class I’m going to. My ideal house has 1600-1800 sq ft, 2-3 bedrooms, a yard for the dogs, preferably a 2-car garage (one side for car, one for workshop or storage), either sunrise or sunset views, single level (no stairs), access to medical care, proximity to shopping (groceries, gas, etc) and restaurants, reasonable HOA rules and dues. It helps keep me on track. Even though I know the actual house I want, if that doesn’t come to fruition, I won’t be wandering lost in the wilderness, starting over from scratch, tempted by houses that are outside the scope of my Wish List.
  • COMPS: I know what’s been selling in my neighborhood, which is where I hope to stay. But I also look at Zillow every now and then and see what’s available – both as a seller and as a buyer. This also includes what a neighbor just paid for a new roof, or what someone else paid to have her house painted, or who did the appraisal, and where the new countertops were purchased from and at what cost.
  • RESOURCES: Next to the Comps is a list of vendors neighbors have used recently. The flooring guy, the landscaper, the roofer, the plumber, etc. Even the high school guy(s) who are willing to help do heavy lifting for an afternoon or two. Where that great couch was purchased.
  • NOTES: Who I talked to and when, and maybe what about. A mortgage banker. A realtor. A neighbor. The seller.
  • QUESTIONS TO ASK: Basic questions about big ticket items at the new place, like age of roof or HVAC are first on the list. What might bloom in the yard, and when. A home inspection will help me identify many of these.
  • FLOOR PLAN: I happen to have my prospect in my sights. She has agreed to let me measure her house and draw up a floor plan so I can gauge what might fit, or not. This also includes possible color schemes and other home design ideas.
  • MOOD BOARD: This isn’t really a mood board; it’s Pat’s Possibilities. It’s a mishmash of Pinterest photos, magazine cut-outs, and paint chips, to aid my creativity and give me a break from the drudgery of cleaning out closets that lead you to tears and feelings of despair that it’s all going to be for naught. When my mood is upbeat, I play with color schemes or like when I was a little girl and played paper dolls, I cut out sample sofas and chairs. When my mood is fading and I’m feeling overwhelmed, I can remind myself of what this work could lead to. Maybe I won’t really have the pool in the back yard but I can still have pretty flowers around a fountain. When the gas bill comes in more than 50% higher than last month, I can look at my dream pages and imagine a lower gas bill because I’ll be in only half the house.
  • DECLUTTERED List. This is a running list of the things I have boxed up and donated or sent with a friend to sell. And what I’ve thrown out (1 cushion gone, 2 to go). It might be useful for income taxes next year, but for now, it’s my progress report. The earlier list I shared, my 40 things in 40 days days (or 37 things in 37 days, whatever it was), is there, with check marks or strike-throughs to indicate it’s done.
  • INVENTORY: This was referred to in an earlier post. This is a list of what I own, and as I dispose of it, I can cross it off. It will help me figure out what is left to deal with when it comes time to actually move.
  • GET ORGANIZED List: This was also referred to in an earlier post. It’s a great motivator when I need it, as it helps me prioritize what I need to get done. It’s not structured so that one thing follows another; it’s more fluid than that. It all needs to be done at some point, and for now, I can pick and choose what to do, and when. When I get an official contract and the clock really starts ticking, then I will be able to see at a glance what’s left on the list, or if this deal stalls, then I can decide if I want or need to keep plugging along and what my next steps will be. And I’ll be in a much better position to take appropriate action.

So that’s how I am staying organized – at least on paper. The bedroom upstairs isn’t quite so well appointed, but I got a start, so that’s what matters. My combination Pinterest/Excel/Notebook/Envelope system is a bit of a jumble but it’s all in one place and easy to spot on my desk or wherever I’ve laid it down. And now I’m going to take a quick mini-vacation for a sibling reunion, sans dogs and Move Book. Just me and the open road, for a full week of recharging.

Until I get back, feel free to share your tips for making the downsizing journey or the actual move go easier. I’d like to add your tips to my plans.

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Progress Report, and it’s exciting!

16 Monday Feb 2026

Posted by Pat in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

#Downsizing #Transitions, #SILVERSHERPA, family, life, mental-health, moving

Most of us have been dealing with a lot of winter lately, and here in Virginia, the ice and snow have lingered. It feels like a Groundhog Day moment back to 2020, the year of Covid quarantines. However, not everything is negative. Like during Covid, I enjoyed movies, fireplaces, good books, and homemade soup. I also did some housecleaning and decluttering. Here’s what I’ve accomplished in the past two weeks.

Books.

I donated another box of books to the Friends of the Library, bringing my total to 6 boxes with around 20-30 books each. It may seem like a lot, but I have 7 bookcases. Even after this donation, I still have only one empty shelf. However, I did incorporate 2 large tubs of Native American pottery my brother gave me and rearranged some items to balance the look. I’m keeping one shelf completely empty to motivate myself. Most of the books I’ve donated are non-fiction professional development titles from my career. What I still have includes old photo albums, oracle and tarot cards, journals, travel books, and reference materials. My goal isn’t to get rid of all my books, just to refine my collection.

Kitchen things.

I went through what I call my Tupperware cabinet, although there really isn’t any Tupperware in it. It’s a huge assortment of plastic storage containers. I got rid of anything with that melted look from the microwaving you’re not supposed to do anyway, or the ones stained from red pasta sauce, and the ones without lids or where the warped lid and warped bowl no longer work together. I kept the glass containers (better environmentally as well), and since I don’t do much cooking anymore, I let go of many that I won’t have use for. Really – does one woman who doesn’t cook need 3 dozen 1-2 cup containers?? I also donated my Pampered Chef mandolin that tried to eat one of my fingers and has not been used since the very first time, and a set of cute 1-cup bowls that were still in the box. I liked them so much, and they were on sale back in the day, so I had bought 2 boxes of 10 (yikes! what was I thinking??), and the second box has just been gathering dust. And no surprise, I had a cabinet section dedicated to coffee mugs, but no more. I kept the ones that fit on the hanging rack on the side of the cabinet, and the rest went in the donation box. I still have quite a few, but really don’t need the one from the insurance agent or the conference I went to or the one that was left from a matched pair that was too heavy for everyday use; they are pretty as pencil holders but when it’s heavy before you fit it with hot liquid, and my hands suffer from a little trigger finger, I decided to be reasonable. I let go of almost a dozen of those.

Glass decor.

I have (had) a lot of my pretties, as I call them, displayed here and there, including on my bookcase shelves. I refined the collection of amber glassware in particular. I started a fascination for amber swung vases a few years ago, but that led to other types of amber glassware – candy dishes, plates, bowls, vases, nightlights, etc. I decided to keep the swung vases, one plate, and two candy dish-type pieces, and the rest can go. A few seasonal items like a pumpkin shaped cookie jar, a Christmas themed covered jar, and the like went in the donation box, too. I hosted Bunco for the neighborhood women last week. My hostess gift to them was a donation table set up in the living room. Everyone was encouraged to take something – anything they wanted – and almost everyone did. What’s left is now ready to be boxed up, no more deciding to be done.

Estate Planning.

So I’ve been making my lists and checking twice. The next thing up was to get the “adulting” done. I met with an attorney, had a new Will drafted, created a Trust, and for fun, a Power of Attorney and Advanced Medical Directive. When you live solo, as I do, it’s easy to put things off. I put them off for over 10 years, since my husband died. I kept telling myself there was time to attend to that business, but never got around to it. Until now. Last week I signed my new estate planning documents. My kids were supportive and helpful and willing to do whatever I wanted them to in terms of serving as executor or attorney-in-fact, and such. Fortunately, they are all doing well and have stable families of their own, so I didn’t need to go down Morbid Avenue and select guardians for them, nor fuss that one was going to need more than another, or worry about being equal v. being fair. This fit my downsizing plan in the sense that I was downsizing my worrying load. Plus, it had the added benefit of opening the sometimes awkward conversations about mortality and possessions and life in general. It’s not a cheap endeavor, and I had to invest a few short-term dollars for long-term peace of mind, but I am so relieved to have that done.

The Downsizing Program element.

I used Richard Campbell, a local attorney I met through the Downsizing Event sponsored by The Memorie Group. From introduction to draft to final signing, was less than a month. All my questions were answered, but it’s a lot to digest, so I was very grateful to get summaries of what to do – for me as well as my someday executor/trustee/attorney-in-fact. And bonus: he’s young enough that he should still be around whenever I kick that proverbial bucket so he can help my kids execute my plans. The Downsizing program has introduced me to many valuable resources for making my life easier, even if I wasn’t planning to move. The somewhat structured plan walking me through the various elements of making a significant life change has been very beneficial. It’s not a list of things to do in order; it has offered me a way to think and process these changes, as well as pointing out the options I have, and then guiding me toward progress, not just completion. The decisions are all mine, as is the timeline, but when you are staring at the abyss, it’s reassuring to be able to lay all the puzzle pieces on the table and see the big picture through my own eyes.

My Future Home.

And then some exciting tidbits of news came my way about the house I have been interested in. The owner has taken her first couple of steps toward making this happen. She went to visit family, found a possible future home for herself, and has started to divest herself of at least one of her collections. Another neighbor put their home for sale, and I went to that open house yesterday. Luckily for me, the house already has an offer pending, so no chaos ensued to distract me from my tentative plans, but here’s the thing. I got talking with another visitor at the open house turned out to be the new next-door neighbor to the open house house, and has the very floor plan in her house that is the same as the house I’m interested. I ended up getting a tour of her house,too, and my enthusiasm was elevated a notch or three! She has done great things, and I could see the potential that I envisioned come to life. Not only that, but this new owner has a daughter who lives in our neighborhood and who may be interested in my house!! Wouldn’t that be something?!? The owner/mother said her daughter has been walking the neighborhood and expressed a desire to live on my street but definitely wants a bigger house since she now has a baby (maybe a second child, not sure) and two dogs (so fenced yard). Mom is going to talk to daughter about my house. And I may have made a new friend in the process. On the street I would maybe be moving to. The stars are aligning, and I couldn’t be happier about this turn of events.

I can see it from here!

It’s energizing to not only see the flywheel start to move, but to actually feel that I’m gaining momentum. All the drudge work of touching each and every one of my things, from books to extra spatulas and plastic containers, to decorative vases and bowls, to clothes I don’t wear any more, and then making a decision to Keep, Sell, Donate, or Trash every one of them is overwhelming, tiring, boring, emotional, and time consuming, adds up to exhausting for me. So the little wins like finding inspiration in someone else’s home, or getting support from friends who aren’t yet tired of my whining about how long this is taking and how far I have to go yet, means a lot to me. I still have my daily chores to attend to, like vacuuming, walking the dogs, taking the trash out, emptying the dishwasher, grocery shopping, laundry, etc. The 40 Things in 40 Days list I made is very useful to keeping me moving forward. But the checklists I got from Silver Sherpa at The Memorie Group have been invaluable in establishing a proper mindset from the get-go. Coupled with the support from a live person to talk to, it’s exponentially more valuable than reading a book (or a blog post, but I hope you’ll keep reading anyway!). All the other times I have relocated have been primarily propelled by the need to start work at a new job in 2-3 weeks. Now I am propelled by the strong desire to start an enhanced lifestyle. If you’ve any advice to share as I am on this journey, please don’t hesitate to share!!

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